


Hide and Seek

by tomarkexists



Category: Blink-182
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomarkexists/pseuds/tomarkexists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I knew it was over even before we opened our mouths. And when we did, when we screamed at each other the words that had been struggling to escape for the past three years or so, I knew it was over. We were over. Blink was over. My life was over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hide and Seek

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by the song "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran and I HIGHLY recommend you to open it in a tab and listen to it while reading this okay. It was originally planed to be a teenage Tomark (my personal favourite) but after listening to the song again and again, it suited them as adults better.

**_The End_ **

I knew it was over even before we opened our mouths. And when we did, when we screamed at each other the words that had been struggling to escape for the past three years or so, I knew it was over. We were over. Blink was over. My life was over.

His words stung like hell. I did not know that he was capable of saying such things to me, but I guess I should have expected it. I just hoped my words stung as much too, even if I did not mean any of it.

Wait, of course I do. He deserved it, that son of a bitch.

When I slammed the door, leaving him in that room with angry tears and a look I had never seen before, I wanted to run back to him. Apologized and begged him to take me back. But my head was clouded, and my hatred towards him took over me.

_I hate him._

_No, I don’t._

_Yes, I do._

I called Rick. It’s over, I said to him simply. He tried to change my mind, but it was already made up. I could not stay in this band anymore. I could not be near him. I could no longer play his stupid games.

_Tom, of course I love you. I don’t love Skye. I only married her so that it won’t look suspicious. Jack was an accident. Come on Tom, we have been together forever. I love you._

Lies. Fucking lies.

I waited for him all these years. Waited for him to love me just as much as I love him. But I wasn’t enough. I will never be enough for him. And I am sick of waiting.

I could not bother calling Travis. They can explain to him. Now, I just need to go back home and drown myself in alcohol.

The drive back to my house was painful. I kept replaying his speech in my head. Did he mean it? Of course he did. He never loved me.

I came back home to my empty house. Forever empty, forever cold, forever alone…

Searching through my cabinets, I grabbed the nearest bottle of alcohol and started chugging it. My body dropped like a heavy weight on my couch. Then, all the tears that I had been trying to hold back flowed easily.

It has been an hour.

I missed him already.

But I could no longer do this.

I looked down on my shirt. My tears reminded me of paint splatters. Alcohol was not enough. I started roaming around my house, made my way to the toilet and grabbed the bottle of pills.

One pill, two pills, fuck I had no idea how much I swallowed. I washed it down with more alcohol and went to my bedroom and fell to a dreamless sleep.

I hate waking up alone.

_I should call you._

_But I can’t._

_~_

**_12 Months After The End_ **

I do not know how long I could do this. My life has spiralled out of control. Pills, alcohol, more pills. Anything to numb the pain, anything to numb the loneliness, anything to numb the regret.

New band, new people, new look. Same person.

Same fucked up person.

A year is enough, right? Both of us should have forgiven each other by now, back to being together, back to being two people who are completely in love with each other?

Wrong. So wrong.

A year without seeing him, a year without talking to him, a year without touching him, a year without tasting him.

I am surprised I made it this long. 

Maybe he will listen to this album?

Please, listen to this. Even if you still hate me and even if you do not love me anymore, please listen to my desperate pleas. I am still angry at you, but you must understand why. I still love you.

I regretted everything I said to you. I regretted slamming that door. I regretted not running back to you. I regretted everything.

The past year has been a blur. My future doesn’t look too good without him in it. I have no idea what to do except for swallowing more pills and drinking more alcohol so that I could survive.

_I just want to hold you._

_~_

**_24 Months After The End_ **

 

I craved his love. It’s been two years. Two years and I still feel the same.

Time has changed me. Time has shown me my mistakes.

I want to stop this addiction of mine. But it is the only thing that is keeping me grounded.

Every single day, I think of him. Every single day, I curse my cowardice for not calling him. We have been playing this stupid game of hide and seek for two years now. I will hide behind my pills and my alcohol yet I spend every minute trying to find him, trying to find traces of him. Every single day, I listen to that wretched album of his. Listen to his pain, his anger, his disappointment.

But at least he is thinking of me. He still cared enough to write songs about me. Still cared enough to give me a birthday present.

Time has burned my hatred for him. I just feel empty now without him.

_I should just let you go._

_~_

**_42 Months After The End_ **

 

I saw it in the news that night.

**Travis Barker and DJ Am in plane crash, critically injured, four already dead.**

My heart rate went faster. I could feel my world spinning. I need to talk to someone, to make sure my old friend is okay.

I grabbed my phone and called him. The number is still engraved in my head.

_Please pick up, please pick up…_

“Hello?” his voice sounded weak, like as if he’s been crying.

“Mark? This is Tom.”

Silence.

I waited for him to be angry at me, shout vulgarities at me or put down the phone, or something. I did not expect kindness, or love. I deserve nothing less.

“Tom, I need you. Please come back to me,” he started crying through the phone.

 

~

**_New Beginnings_ **

 

I made my way to his house. I had often driven down his street, hoping one day I will pluck enough courage to knock on his door.

Today is the day.

He was waiting for me. I nearly ran to him. His arms quickly enveloped around me, where they belong.

“I am so sorry Mark,” my voice quivered, trying to not cry into his shoulders.

“Me too Tom.”

And he kissed me. Soft and tender, so passionate and so full of love.

The taste that his lips allowed brought me back to life. I was barely living the past three years. 

I do not need the pills; I do not need the alcohol.

I just needed him.

We were so stupid, playing hide and seek all these years.


End file.
